May 7, 2025

Rebel in a Gown: Breaking the Rules We Never Agreed To - with Shelley Brown

Rebel in a Gown: Breaking the Rules We Never Agreed To - with Shelley Brown

There are seasons when life slows down. Sometimes you choose it, other times it chooses you. For Shelley Brown, that moment came after a serious spinal injury. She could no longer walk, work, or rely on the habits and routines that once gave her a sense of identity. What followed was uncomfortable, but also clarifying. The space that injury created led to a deeper understanding of who she really was.

In this episode of Alex & Annie, Shelley opens up about what it means to rediscover yourself when the world no longer recognizes you by your title or achievements. Hosts Alex & Annie reflect alongside her, offering their own stories of growth, burnout, and what it takes to reconnect with a more authentic version of yourself.

Here are five valuable takeaways from their conversation.

1. Pausing gives space for clarity

Shelley didn’t plan to reinvent herself. She was forced into stillness. With her usual routines on hold, she began journaling, painting, and exploring what brought her joy and peace. Slowly, she uncovered the values that had always been there, just hidden under constant motion.

Annie shared how her own breakthrough came when she chose the word “authentic” to guide her year. That choice helped her let go of the pressure to constantly adapt to what others expected. She stopped shaping herself for spaces that didn’t feel right and started listening to what felt aligned.

Growth often begins when everything else stops.

2. Belonging creates more impact than performance

Shelley’s work centers on the idea of belonging in the workplace. Through her WEIRD framework (Welcoming, Engaging, Integrating, Risk-taking, and Delivering), she challenges leaders to build environments where people feel safe to show up as themselves.

Alex pointed out that many people leave jobs not because of the tasks, but because they feel unseen. Compensation matters, but so does culture. When people feel like they belong, they bring more of their ideas, energy, and commitment.

3. Leading differently is its own quiet rebellion

The term “rebel” usually calls to mind someone loud or disruptive. Shelley redefines it. Her version of rebellion looks like showing up with intention. It means questioning outdated expectations and creating space for new ways of leading.

Annie reflected on how women in leadership are often called difficult when they speak up or challenge norms. Shelley’s take reminded her that change can be gentle and still be powerful. You do not have to raise your voice to raise the standard.

4. Reflection should be part of the job

Shelley journals every morning before coffee. She writes about what excites her, what she wants to experience, and what she’s grateful for. This practice gives her direction and helps her stay grounded.

Alex shared that she often captures thoughts through voice notes while driving or writing on her phone. Looking back on past reflections gives her a better sense of how far she has come and what themes keep showing up.

Reflection does not require hours of free time. It only requires a willingness to be honest with yourself.

5. Not every rule is worth keeping

Shelley invites us to question the expectations we carry. Ideas like “never slow down,” “stay strong no matter what,” or “success means being busy all the time” are often taken as fact, when in reality, they are optional.

As leaders and professionals, it helps to pause and ask where those expectations came from. More importantly, we can ask whether they still serve the kind of person or leader we want to be.

5. Final thought: Growth is often quiet and personal

This episode offers a look at the kind of growth that builds slowly and starts from within. Shelley’s story is a reminder that identity does not come from the roles we play. It comes from knowing who we are when everything else fades away. And yes, Alex, Annie, and Shelley wore gowns for this one. Because showing up differently can be part of the message too.

Watch the full episode here: